Until now, we have been taught that forgiveness is good for us and that good people forgive. Dr. Spring, a gifted therapist and the award-winning author of After the Affair, proposes a radical, life-affirming alternative that lets us overcome the corrosive effects of hate and get on with our lives—without forgiving. She also offers a powerful and unconventional model for genuine forgiveness—one that asks as much of the offender as it does of us.
This bold and healing book offers step-by-step, concrete instructions that help us make peace with others and with ourselves, while answering such crucial questions as these:
How do I forgive someone who is unremorseful or dead?
When is forgiveness cheap?
What is wrong with refusing to forgive?
How can the offender earn forgiveness?
How do we forgive ourselves for hurting another human being?
About the Author
Janis Abrahms Spring, Ph.D., is a nationally acclaimed expert on issues of trust, intimacy, and forgiveness. In private practice in Westport, Connecticut, she is the author of the award-winning How Can I Forgive You?, The Courage to Forgive, the Freedom Not To, and Life with Pop: Lessons on Caring for an Aging Parent.
“Spring really shines.... Armed with her insights, offenders and those they’ve offended have hope of recovery.” — Bellingham Herald
“A truly stellar book putting forgiveness in a new, revealing light and provides clear steps to turn wounds into wisdom.” — Joan Borysenko, Ph.D., author of Minding the Body, Mending the Mind
“This book is a treasure trove for anyone who has ever felt betrayed or hurt by a personal relationship.” — Peggy Papp, author of Couples on the Fault Line: New Directions for Therapists
“Clear, insightful…a thoughtful exposition on the nuanced role of forgiveness in relationships that goes beyond the average self-help book.” — Publishers Weekly
“A fresh and original approach to an ancient challenge.” — Harville Hendrix, Ph.D., author of Getting the Love You Want